worry

Could say F it
pretend now, I dont care
This life
..............Not worth it
yeah yeah yeah
My musics got no poerty
find it hard managing
to break out of this rythm
in snyc its so sick
its just a nother teen
at a touchscreen machine
cause you can round me up easy

this may be somewhat emotional

Everything hurts...
Went out feel sick so down hate threatens to stir and overwhelm insecurity no I am happy but its all there man its there
And Im blocking it all because IM okay really arent i

Prelude to Hypocrisy In Three Short Sentances

World of Warcraft, sucks ass

Love you Nyhm

Like I said, ASS, it sucks ASS

It is 3 am in aproximately six hours I will have to get up out of bed,where I nestle snuggly now and go to Photography. On exactly how much sleep??Not much.

Unfortunantely for some reason I agreed to let myself get dragged out into Town by a tipsy Damiel James and his even tipsier Roomates. Before that a great deal of time was spent just hanging around Damiels trying to help him cook a chilli and Rice dish...not easy as he was LOCKED...or at least kept saying so, eitherway he was in no condtion to cook.
His Roomate Conner "Connie" O'Brian did his best to make me feel at home whilst his other flate mate Riggy did his best to be loud and garrulous. Connies' girlfriend was extremly nice,she actually convinced me to stay, then go out later . (Funny because her and Connie did not join us in Town, they dissapeared into the nether regions of the flat and were not seen again, or as Riggy put it less daintly, they went to have sex).

I really should put an Age rating on My blog, and Stop capitalising words that are not proper nouns
...........Anyways not much happened met the rest of the guests, who were three blondes and Nial from upstairs. Damiel and Nail were meant to be set up by Connie and Rigs but um...Nail brought a friend and after said friend downed a few vodka's and beers it was clear that said friend was a special friend of Nial's. Devastating for me to watch as Damiel had been really up for being set up with Nail, yet when I aksed Damiel later he said"Oh well I wasn't that into him anyways" and he probably wasnt because to be honest Damiel is the most green horned gay guy I have ever met, he's not promiscous at all and despite badly hiding it since I met Lovely Lorna, I dont think he knows I'm like really Bi...which has nothing to do with him so really wasn't neccessary to mention.
.........................................Then again its not like you can be half bi is it?
Yes well going back a little. around 10 Damiel and I invited Ciaran (CI -ran normally pronounced Key-ren) of the next block down to come around, he said yeah I'll be there in a while.That made me really happy.
........................................And Because you don't know
I feel something for Lorna but Lorna really hits it off with Ciaran, and whenever with Lorna we do talk about Ciaran quite alot as he is SEX ON FIRE, funny because, I'm not that into him (sorry) Ciaran is kind of the fourth memeber of our small group so we actually see him alot. Our friend group was bigger but it got split when they made the timetable,
......................................Anyways, Ciaran aside from being sexy as hell on acid, is smart,likes Metal, and is a black belt in several martial arts. Now where the potential drama is, is that Ciaran has a girlfriend, Lorna has a boyfriend but well like i said when together they spark,
"Though we'll probably just become really good friends...Then again there probably will be this sexual tension between us until we do something about it" Lorna's exact words.
I just laughed.
I got to spend some time with him, would have been better if Damiel hadn't been flashing me the thumbs up go get 'em tiger signal every time he thought Ciaran's back was turned. I'm actually not that into him, although -erm erm- as a plot device a sexy outsider in what once was a close knit group just sets my fingers buzzing to write.
But yes went out to Town complete Dissapointment, the only Gay bar Damiel and I could find closes its doors at 11:30 and other than that it seemed the whole town was drunk skanks and ***kers.
Met a few girls from my old school. Smiled politely fumed quietly.Talking with Damiel though sort of came to the conclusion that in all fairness, for all I know they may be maturing into better people than the secondary school kids they were, and holding a frivolous grudge against them all only hurts and discourages.

Going to be starting a new story series , inspired by Ciarans good looks,Dorian Gray, and every anime I've ever seen but mostly Cowboy bebop. I'll try and put it up on DeviantArt if my computer co-operates

Doctor Horribles Sing Along blog won an Emmy, I am chuffed.

******************************************

Walk a flower in my midst
Turn Sunlight out, a sensual mist
If I by you, a goddess, am kissed
Then blessed indeed is my existance


(on DeviantArt too )

Oh

http://http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=otZdiO0q6pU

Well wouldn't you like to know
Why things just had to go go ahead and get like this
Masticating strawberries speak speak what could be could be
but as long as you hide keep a counting on sweet life to throw you the chances and draw everypunch you aint going no where no no no much

See me panicking
I cant handle this so It feels, and this is real, Life.
Is a bitch a queen a stool, its all but a moment over in two
small breaths and yet I'm walking so slowly
dreamland dreams i dare come true cast me alive in the light of you
please Dignity return to me and Apathy go away
I'll live my Day Fully

copyright verified, better version on Deviantart account

Today I am tired.
Not really what I oughta say is I am tired now. the Great Adventure that is college is actually looking like it will be quite alot of work. i do not mind that,only the thing is i am having trouble registering. Due to the usual amount of very sophisticated ineptitude innate in Bureaucrats.

I have in an indirect way told Lorna that I love her. I used the past tense.

But yes it seems it will be yet another while before I can access the benefits being a registered student brings, such as the StuCard. the student discount card, it makes student life amazingly easier.

I hoped to escape all the small town worries a.k.a the reasons i started this blog, by moving to Greston but alas, you bring your troubles with you. it seems.
No I did not bring my troubles with me, I am far too happy for that to be it, I suppose it wouldn't be a lie to say I am worried. Worried that due to this Card trouble i will fall behind on the course work, worried that I restrain myself too much when chance calls and not enough when it is the voice of folly.

The Lord forgive me for all my sins I have been an avaricious fool, hoarding good luck to myself and like a glutton feeding upon happiness or rather, momentary pleasures that passed like the morning mist.
Becoming complacent in the lack of strife or sorrow, doing such stupid little things. Yet it is the little things that matter, that make us up into who we are.
One should discipline oneself and seek to live with honor and purity of heart because to fail to be disciplined above all else,leads to disaster, to a life wasted.
Or worse Others will come and discipline you instead, perhaps even fate noting how thouroughly you fail to grasp the good rope of truth when it is gently handed to you will take it upon herself to truss you up with it
To bind you til you cannot move to commit folly or good.

I should go to sleep. I should be on time. I should shut my mouth, just a little bit more than usual,
I should let go
I should be oneminded in my approach
I should trust myself and others
I should believe in me and in the possibility of possiblity

I really should get some sleep.

Love

alright so i may be half comatose with sleep but i must blog...

first topic: You snooxe you loose, life is one big moment not a streach of time to worry and remenisce over. yes I do love Lorna but in such a deeper way than that you know, the way which we discussed

no I shall have to leave you now it seems sandy sleepman is really insistant